Today was 11 hours of travel. Please assist and let the world know through your various means that certain unwritten codes of conduct must be followed on a plane to the benefit of all man. Please also add to the portions of the code I may have missed!
1. If you bring food on the plane, it cannot smell.
1a. If your food is spicy you must be loaded with breath mints or the good kind of 5 gum.
2. Middle guy ALWAYS gets the arm-rest.
3. Flatulence is virtually a crime for which one may be tossed off the plane.
4. Don’t grab my seat so you can stand up.
5. Mr. Pilot, please fly the plane and avoid the awkward attempt at stand-up comedy. Each time you speak I miss valuable moments of “Ya Ya Sisterhood” and “30 Rock”.
6. Deodorant (always a good thing).